Falling Further Than Ever Before (Part 2)

This is a continued post from the post I did yesterday, I’d like to add that these are real memories that are coming back, while I’m in hospital.

I kept walking and walked through some neighbourhoods with terrace houses – one after the other. It was getting dark as I turned up to another street. I remember the beauty of the houses. This was the point that I remembered that the voices weren’t real. I got very upset and scared. I then knocked on the house that didn’t yet have the curtains closed, and were laughing at something. They seemed safe to me, when I didn’t feel safe at all. I knocked on the door and a woman answered and called for her husband. I cried saying that I was frightened. I apologised for knocking on there door and walked away. The husband told me to stop and told me that it was fine. I didn’t believe him. I started to hit myself in the head and cried. After around 20 minutes to half an hour, the police turned up. I had no idea that they’d been called.

I got a lot more anxious when I saw the police car, plus I have a problem with flashing lights. Two officers left their cars. One said, “I think we know who this is”, by which point I realised that my parents had called the police. He checked for my description over the radio and it fitted. It took a bit of persuasion, but I eventually got in the back of the police car. I proceeded to have a panic attack. The police officer (who I decided was very kind) asked whether I was okay, “Bit stressed?” I nodded, because I couldn’t speak. I got home to find very stressed parents, as soon as they saw me their eyes lit. They talked to the officers for a while, I sat on the settee watching the Olympics with my sister.

But that calm phase didn’t last very long…


To be continued…


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